Thursday, September 13, 2012

It's So Quiet Here

Two mornings in a row our little girl is out the door before 7:30.  Off to her own school, her own life, her own experience.  It is a very clear separation for this Mama-Daughter team and my heart begins to pang for her in the quiet moments.  Off she goes carrying her lunchbox, shoes on her feet, 3 hats in her hands; she doesn't look back.  "Bye Mumma."

Our separation was deliberate.  One, for her to be able to better explore the world; which she is just about bursting at the seams to be out in.  Two, for me to have some time and space in caring for myself and our home as well as helping with Buying Club Day.  And Three, to prepare ourselves for the new baby.  Our separation is of course not only physical, but also allows us to healthily grow towards emotionally independence.

Oh! And I have these two glorious days to myself.  I can be silent, I can be loud, I can work or I can rest.  To enter Fall with this new rhythm, this new schedule feels like a gift.  I have been so tired and so full in caring for our sweet and trying girl these last years that this window of time allows me to regroup.  To recenter.  To create a swiftness to my time and restore a bit of my internal grace.  I am thankful for these sweet moments of silence; and it prepares me all the better for early morning pancakes, hugs on the stairs and gathering my strength for a winter of newness.

Inhale.  Exhale.  Calm.

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