Why I'm Voting Yes on One....

It still seems like segregation, like a closing of the mind, like hatred and bigotry.  There is little else to feel when a person closes their eyes to you simply because of a rainbow flag.  You are not equal to me.  You do not deserve respect, honor or decency because you are different than me.  That's what I hear and see and feel when I'm fighting for equal rights.  It feels foreign to me, it feels like a wall and it feels horrible.

I am a woman who has found herself primarily in heterosexual relationships for my adult life.  My life partner happens to be a man, but I have a loved a woman, I have had relationships with women.  I have contemplated who would carry our child where we to build a family and I imagine we would have wanted to have the same civil rights as any other family. 

A civil union is not a marriage, the rights of committed partners disappear in a medical scenario, or in death.  That feels wrong to me that people who love one another wouldn't be allowed to care for one another on a death bed, could not make medical decisions for the other.  I can't imagine the devastation I would feel should my husband fall ill and I had no rights.  Because the agreement to marry another person assigns them as your next of kin.  It is a civil recognition not only of love, but the gift of respect and trust of another human being.

When Rafi and I were pregnant with Cecilia we got married, very quietly, in the woods, together.  We made that commitment to one another that we would be life partners, it was simple, easy and honest for us.  We called our parents when we got home and told them; this was not recognized, this was not a true marriage and they certainly did not accept it as such.  So we had a wedding, the ceremony was completely secular, there was music, poetry and words of beauty spoken to one another.  We agreed to care for one another and our family.  It was honest, sweet and there were a lot of people there agreeing to help us in our marriage.

And quite honestly for the two of us this ceremony made a huge difference in the way we relate to one another.  I am confident that when the roller coaster of life takes over and we are having hard years in our marriage our family and friends will bring us back to that day.  They will recall a memory from our commitment ceremony and remind us of why we married one another.  I believe that in an emotional context community recognition of our union has been important to our marriage.

And when people say that it's not right in a religious context, I want to remind them that God is not involved in this decision.  God was not a piece of our ceremony.  We had a Justice Of The Peace, there were several signatures exchanged and $40 was paid to The State of Maine.  That's it, that's all, if I don't need a church's permission to get married, why should anyone else?

I choose love over and over and over again, and I will continue to choose acceptance.  And that is why I'm voting YES on November 6th in Support of everyone's Freedom to Marry.