Carving

Feeling, watching and imagining our life with baby has been just that.  Our life with baby.  I've thought a lot of being overwhelmed with the care of my new little one and my older little one.  I've wondered how it can be possible that there's room for all four of us in my brain together.  I've thought about coping quite a bit.  I've considered locking myself in the bathroom for privacy.

As we get closer and closer to the arrival of this new family member I realize more and more how sacred this time is right now.  I consider how important it is for the three of us to be the three of us.  How we may all miss being The Hopkins 3 tremendously.  Because as soon as the first breath is breathed we will always be 4.  No matter the moment, our family will be incomplete unless all 4 of us are snuggled under one room, around one table, in one bed.  When I have adult children my heart will forever be stretched in 2 directions, watching them, waiting for them, missing them.

So here I sit, quite patiently awaiting the arrival of mystery babe just trying to enjoy these last weeks of our family just the way it is.  Holding on tight to who we are right now while we're waiting for our hearts to expand for our new baby.