Patiently Anticipating

"February's your month" my midwives said to me.  February.  That's almost, basically now.  Everything sits in wait.  The contractions grow around my uterus.  The baby gets bigger.  I sleep, wake, sort, organize, tidy, cook.  Put a meal into the freezer whenever I can.  Organize a closet, a drawer, a surface.  Every action holds some weight, could this be the last chore I do?  Could this be the last time I watch the undulating baby inside me?  Could this be it?  Could it be now?

I continually ask these questions daily, but there is so much peace in their murmurings.  There is no rush to their voice.  I feel no sense of urgency, exasperation or trouble.  I simply feel patient and ready, curious and stable.  Mostly attempting to enjoy the day to day, the grace in the moments, and the need to slow down when my body says so.  I enjoy the humor in being unable to get up easily, or scooting to grab something that's rolled under the crib, laying on my belly and being surprised by how big and round and hard it is.  Then laughing at myself because in those moments, with help requested by Miss. Ce I had forgotten I was pregnant.  Just for a flash I was so caught up in my actions that the last 9 months of growth was simply under the crib with that spool of thread and my stomach didn't exist just for a moment.

The peace in this pregnancy is unlike that of my first.  It is so calm here in my mind right now.  A bit scattered, a bit distracted, a bit full of all the bits and pieces I want to find closure on before mystery babe's arrival; however I sit here ready.  And it feels nice; really, really nice.