During my hiatus I was considering what to tell you all about when I got back. I'm feeling overwhelmed by understanding my feelings, as they seem to feel more and more muddled and confused by the day. I feel as though I've awoken from a huge shit storm and there's debris everywhere... in my hallway, my head, my relationships; it's intensely exhausting. Some relationships have deepened and some feel miles away from a place of peace. I am questioning who I am. I am attempting on focusing on the things that give me energy; the things that are helping me cope with the chaos in my head. I have hope that allowing myself time will ease the burden of the heaviness.
That's where I am... grasping on to my sanity. Reaching to the people and things that I trust. Knitting for dear life. Doing a macrobiotic cleanse. Trying to dance and be silly with my daughter. Making plans for what I can accomplish in a day. Energizing myself with the local food movement. Trying to love and enjoy what I do. Saying goodbye to lattes for a few weeks, so sad. Loving my yoga practice, hello chest/shoulder/heart openers! Starting to journal again. Staying warm in wool socks and a nightgown. Hoping to minimize my possessions. Thinking about Control. Enjoying early morning solitude (which was just entered by a certain little monkey girl with wild bead head and a disposition of cheer).
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