...you get floored again. Evey thing was moving along so hunky dory; functioning, washing dishes, staying positive, moving forward, joking, laughing, playing, feeling great. KABAM, hello couch, hello bed, hello bathtub, I remember you. Hello numbness, overwhelmed, fatigue, grumpy & empty, welcome back. Such is life with depression and when you lace depression with grief it is all the more powerful at wiping a soul out. So what do I do? I sleep. I retreat. I go inward. Then, 18 hours later I'm basically functioning again.
This is something I'm attempting to embrace in my life. I allow the melancholy to come in, to ravage me, and then to leave and let me be. Because for whatever reasons my chemistry and my emotional state needs the other side of happy and pleasant to properly balance it out. I'm beginning to think that rather than being overcome by this state if I were to embrace it's appearance as a friend reminding me to slow down that perhaps with time my coping mechanisms would improve. Instead of feeling like a victim to this emotional state I'll bring it on as an old friend and have tea with it.
"Oh hello depression, how are you today? Oh you're here because I've been doing too much? Ahhhhh, thank-you for the reminder, let's rest together. Go on, put your feet up! Oh do take your muddy boots off first." Or something like that and we can settle into a siesta together.
Perhaps I sound delusional, or perhaps there's something to this. Re-frame my mind around this state of being and change it from a negative into one of my truths. It's an option anyways...
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